“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.”
— Dr. Gail Dines
We grow up surrounded by ideas of what the “ideal” body, face, skin, and hair should look like.
Because of this, many of us start to see ourselves as something that needs fixing.
It can show up in small, everyday thoughts like:
- “I should probably lose a bit of weight before summer.”
- “My stomach would look better if it were flatter.”
- “I need clearer skin before I feel confident going out.”
- “I’ll feel better if I just tone my arms a little.”
And slowly, it can feel like there is always something to “fix” before we are allowed to feel okay in our bodies.
Trying to change ourselves can also feel normal
We might go to the gym to change our body shape, try different diets, use makeup to change our facial features, or invest in skincare routines hoping for “better” skin.
And sometimes, these things can feel fun.
It can feel good to improve things about ourselves or receive compliments.
But it’s still worth pausing here.
Where does this idea come from?
Where did we learn what is considered “beautiful” in the first place?
From a young age, we are constantly exposed to advertisements, social media, and entertainment that show a very specific type of beauty.
Over time, this can quietly shape what we think is “normal” or “ideal.”
And without noticing, we can start comparing ourselves to it. This can quietly trap us in a cycle of never feeling like we are enough.
Who benefits from this?
The fitness, diet, and beauty industries.
Many of these industries grow by feeding into our insecurities—sometimes very subtly.
They suggest that we should not have body hair in certain places, that our skin should look a certain way, or that our bodies should fit a specific shape or size.
Along with this, they often create the idea that if we can just reach that “ideal” version of ourselves, everything else will feel better: confidence, happiness, even self-worth.
But in reality, that promise is not always true.
So what can we do?
This is not about rejecting beauty or self-care.
It’s about questioning the pressure behind it.
What does beauty mean to you, separate from trends, influencers, or ads?
Does it always have to be something you are trying to “fix” or “improve”?
Or can it also include how you already are right now?
Maybe beauty is not a constant project.
Maybe it can also be a feeling of being comfortable in your own skin, even without changing anything first.
You are allowed to define beauty for yourself and live with that definition.